


All I know is that I love you too much to walk away

by lookingforparadise



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drama, Fluff, M/M, True Love, don't hate me! :), fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1865865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingforparadise/pseuds/lookingforparadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did somebody ask for some drama?<br/>That's the best I can do.</p><p>Enjoy x</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I know is that I love you too much to walk away

The room is quiet and if somebody entered, they'd tell nobody is even breathing.

Liam is on a chair, tapping on his phone and Zayn, on the sofa next to the ping pong table, is reading.

At least he's trying to read, if his ears and mind weren't disturbed every five seconds by a loud thump or a shout.

It looks like they don't even want to let someone acknowledge their presence while, on the other room, the hell has opened its gates.

Both Liam and Zayn look at each other from time to time, trying to talk with their mind.

“Shall we –?” Zayn had asked, during the first minutes.

“Oh we'd better not.” Liam had shrugged, knowing what Zayn was thinking about. “Remember what happened last time?”

Zayn hadn't answered but yes, he remembered. Thank god everything was solved after that.

Everything is always solved, they all know it by now, but still. It's quite hard when things like that happen. Especially when they are all together but nobody can do anything to solve them right away.

The two guys jolt when someone opens the door on the left to enter.

Niall, the one who opened the door, jolts back, surprised by the reaction. He was at the gym so probably he didn't hear a thing.

“Woah? What's that?” he asks, puzzled.

Zayn is about to open his mouth to explain, when a loud thump from the other room, followed by something crashing down on the floor. Shouts. And words. Bad words.

Niall lifts his shoulders, scared for a second.

“Oh no. No!” he huffs when finally he realises. “Tell me it's not happening.”

“It is.”

“We have a concert tonight! Please!”

“It's been like that for the past twenty minutes. Let them steam off and then we can go.” Liam nods.

Niall flops down on the couch next to Zayn, taking off his shoes.

“Why, this time?” Niall cocks an eyebrow, curious while the thumps and the screams don't stop.

Both Liam and Zayn shrugs. “You know how he gets when she's around.” Zayn adds.

Niall nods. Louis. They are talking about Louis.

“And Harry?”

“Harry doesn't usually shout. We can't hear him. We only hear Louis, he's the drama queen.”

“Did he already throw his clothes out of the window?” Niall asks, remembering the last time the mess happened on tour.

“No, he'll probably kick something and hurt his foot this time.” Zayn says.

“Shall we go and try to..”

“No. Better not.”

The voices moves to the corridor. A door opens loudly. Niall Zayn and Liam stays in silence, hearing what's going on.

Louis and Harry, who are involved in the usual fight of the month before a concert, walks along the corridor. Probably to go to the common room where the others are.

They are still shouting. Or better, Louis is the one who shouts and throw things and uses loads of bad words. Harry is the calm one, who doesn't shout but gets mad anyway and it's actually scarier than the theatrical way Louis face these things.

None of them knows when it started and why. As usual.

“Fuck you Harold, seriously, FUCK YOU!” Louis shouts in the corridor.

“Good Louis, good! Tell me to fuck off it's the only thing you can say because you know I am right!!”

“You are fucking NOT and stop talking to me, I don't wanna see your fucking face ever again!!” Louis says again, louder probably.

“Too bad because guess what?? We still work together!!”

“Well stay away from me!!”

“Why can't you admit you are not perfect and you are wrong sometimes?!?! It's good you know?!?! Nobody fucking dies if you say it for once!!!”

“Because I am NOT????? You only think what you think is right, because you are fucking Harry Syles and you knows better because you are a Saint and guess what Harold, you don't fucking know anything most of the time! Especially about...this and ME and....”

“I don't fucking know anything about YOU???????” okay this time Harry shouts back.

Niall is more worried now. And so is Liam who tries to tilt his head to listen better. Apparently they are in front of their room now.

“Yes Harry!! Sorry but you are talking shit about things you don't know and gooshhh ---”

“I am fucking going to MARRY you Louis, for fuck's sake, how can you tell I don't know you??? I was just saying my opinion but since you are Mister Know it All go, I don't care!!”  
“Of course you don't care!!! When have you ever cared?!??!?” Louis shouts and no, Louis shouldn't have.

Liam covers his face with a hand. “Oh god, Louis.” he mutters under his breath but Niall and Zayn catch it anyway.

“Three – two – one.” Niall counts.

Something flies along the corridor and falls on the floor or against a wall with a loud empty noise.

“You know what??? FUCK OFF Louis Tomlinson, seriously, fuck – off. I am out of this. Do whatever you like, fuck it.”

Silence. Zayn looks towards the door. Louis didn't answer for several seconds.

Then they hear Harry moving his feet and walking away.

“Good! Go! Go Harry, come on!” Louis shouts and his voice echoes in the corridor. “Go the gym or why don't you call one of your little friend??? I am sure they are all ready to console you come on!! Oh wait, why don't you call Jack or Nick, yeah Nick,or maybe that friend of yours from Cheshire who literally told me he'd like to shag you??? Go on, shag him!!”

“What the fuck are you talking about LOUIS??” Harry replies, from afar. He must have turned on his heel to face Louis again after the last words.

“It's what he said, since you're out of this, come on GO! Maybe he'll be able to accept everything you say and suggest like the Holy Bible of Saint Harry Styles!!! You're always right, aren't you???” Louis bites back, malicious.

Harry doesn't answer. A loud, very loud thump, the door that leads to the gym shut close.

The first round might be over.

The guys pretend to do something else as soon as they hear the door handle and Louis enters the room.

He doesn't say anything, he just opens the small closet, he takes something and turns to look at the rest of them.

“As you weren't listening to everything from here.” Louis states.

Niall turns and looks at him, concerned.

“Where's Harold?”

“He fucked off.” Louis shrugs.

“What happened?”

“I told you. Harry fucked off. He's _out of this_ , he's out.” he repeats, defeated, empty eyes and brain.

Louis feels like he can't breathe.

He hates himself because it starts like the most stupid banter ever and it turned into Harry walking away.

Harry always walks away when they fight. He doesn't want to say things he might regret so he decides to storm off for some hours and then reappear in the middle of the night, when Louis is pretending to sleep and he goes in their room before deciding to sleep in the guest room instead.

“D'you need –?”

“I don't fucking need anything, Liam!” Louis snaps and then he seems to regret it. “So-sorry” he mutters. “Sorry I am gonna..I am gonna go to my room.” and he disappears.

Niall looks at Liam and gulps loudly.

“Is it more serious than the last time?” Zayn asks, looking at them.

“I don't even know why like...they were just talking and then..”

“It always happens. Nobody thinks what they are saying and then they go back to their room and have sex.” Liam huffs. “It happened last month and it's always going to happen.”

“Yeah but... Harry sounded very serious.” Niall worries.

Liam shakes his head. “Do you really think those two are going to break up?? Like, seriously Niall.”

“Aren't you worried?” Niall blinks for a second.

“No. They love each other. They are adults. They'll figure it out.” Liam says, solemn.

“I am going to check on Harry anyway” Niall jumps off the couch and opens the door to go to the gym room.

Zayn does the same.

“Where are you all going?” Liam asks, puzzled.

“To check on Lou.” Zayn runs and follows Niall.

“Great, so now I am feeling guilty because I stay here!” Liam protests.

“You stay here and...if somebody asks where we are just tell me... a lie” Zayn closes the door before Liam could even speak again.

 

* * * * * * *

 

“Harold?”  
Niall enters slowly the gym room, the big space seems empty.

The machines are not working, the light is on but he can't see Harry anywhere.

“Harry?” he calls again.

He doesn't get an answer. He suddenly hears someone counting around the corner, where the weights are.

“One, two, three, four, five...”

Niall knows then. He smiles weakly for a second and then walks quietly to where he is hearing Harry's voice.

And there he finds him.

Harry is naked, almost, shirt thrown in a corner, he is only wearing his shorts. Tattoos exposed and muscles working as he's sweating since god-only-knows-when on the weight bench. He's lifting a ten or a fifteen even, yes, Niall knows he's completely pissed when he dares to lift that much.

“What are you doing Harold?” he crosses his arms and leans on the wall to look at the younger guy.

“Gym. I am... lifting...weights.” he says, out of breath, trying to be focused.

“You are just trying to kill yourself with that thing.” he steps forward and takes with two hands the weight away from Harry.

He almost loses both of his arms because that thing is bloody heavy but he manages to free Harry from the weight and make him stop.

“Why did you do it?!?” Harry protests, lying there with his hands curled on his chest.

“Because we need you alive for the concert and also – you are being the usual child.”

Harry frowns. Lucky for both of them, Niall knows him better than anyone.

“I am _not_ a child.”

“Slamming the door, walking away, being here all alone trying to make your arms explodes...it's not going to work and you know it.” Niall sits down on the bench next to Harry who still lies there with no strength at all left.

He doesn't answer. He knows Niall is right. Niall is always right about this.

“It's just... he's.....uurrrghhh!!” he shakes his sweaty curls with an angry look.

Niall lifts his shoulders.

“You _know_ how he is and how he gets when he's under...pressure. You must know him by now, am I right??”

Harry thinks before speaking. “Yeah.” he says, under his breath.

Niall leans towards him to hear him better, a hand on his knee. Harry is still staring at the ceiling above him.

“And you love him so you are not really _out of it_.”

Harry finally meets Niall's eyes in a worried look.

“Of course I am not, I am just – I didn't want to...I know I hurt him and...God, I hate myself so much.”

“Harry you were fighting. Louis gets pretty aggressive as well.”

“Yeah but... that's how he is and I should --”

“Harry, fights happen. You have been together for like what? Four years?”

“Four years and a half.”

“Yeah, okay, and the circumstances you are in are not..normal. You don't do a normal job, you live together basically 24/7 so fights are normal.”

“I don't wanna fight with him.”

“Then make it up.”

“But it's not my fault it's his he's the one who --”

“Harry! You know he'll come to you in twenty minutes to apologise.”

“Not this time.” Harry lifts his body and sits back, lowering his head.

“He will.”

“He said I can go shag someone else. Can you believe it???? It's always like that, he always implies that I'd cheat on him or something because I don't care!”

“Louis is fragile! You know it!” Niall moves his hand to explain himself “Louis stings and bites and _barks_ a lot and that's how he defends himself.”

“Are you justifying him?”

“I think you are both twats, to be honest. But I am trying to explain what it really is. From, you know, outside.”

“It's stupid. I know.”

“It can happen. Remember when Liam was fighting on Skype with Sophia? Or even Gemma with Ashton? Or.... me and Barbara??” he asks with a smile.

Harry looks at his friend in the eyes and sighs.

“I am so stupid.”

“You're not, babe.” Niall takes Harry in his arms and makes him lean his head on his shoulder. “You're young and in love with a Drama Queen.”

“He really is. He threw me a phone.”

“A classic.” Niall laughs.

“It's violence, you know!”

“He'd never do it on purpose, he's angry and...theatrical.”

“He said he would have thrown my clothes outside the windows again.”

“He wouldn't.” Niall nods.

Harry lets himself be cradled in Niall's arms, closing his eyes for a second.

“I think I'll talk to him later, then.”

“I'll try to stay away from my room as it's again next to yours and I don't wanna hear you come ever again after two nights ago.”

Harry laughs, finally some joy is back in his laugh and in his eyes.

“Shut up, you prick! We know you enjoy the show every time!”

“Yeah, especially when Louis is in charge!”

Harry shakes his curls and laughs again. “I hope you don't enjoy it more than I do, actually.”

Niall laughs, amused. “Ahhhh, nah Harold, as much as I love you and I consider myself your number one supporter, I wish I could sleep one night without Louis screaming your name like he's dying.”

Harry looks at the ceiling for a second and his heartbeat quickens.

“I love when he does that.” he murmurs, as he's speaking with himself.

“Okaaay!” Niall breaks the hug “Too much information bro! Now back to reality!” he snaps Harry out of his thoughts.

Harry shakes his head and looks at Niall.

“Go have a shower because ya stink.” the blond guy says when they both stand up and walk towards the door.

Harry looks at himself, half naked and sweaty. Niall has a point, actually.

“And then wait for Louis to steam off and talk to him. You know what to do.”

“He's not gonna break up with me, is he?” and Niall smiles sweetly because that's exactly the same was Harry asked him the very first time they fought about something 'important'. The first time Louis was very angry and Harry was just seventeen and scared they could break up.

No, a couple like that never break. It only gets stronger.

And Harry sometimes it's still that child, with big eyes and a worried look because Louis is everything to him and if he leaves him Harry might die for real.

“Don't be silly, man,” Niall smiles patting him on the shoulder “Louis is impulsive but not that stupid. He knows what he got in his hands and he'd never let it go away.”

Harry smiles, feeling way better.

“What'd do without you, Ni!” he smiles before pulling Niall into a hug.

“Okaaay, woah, calm Harry!! You are all sweaty , oh my godddd!! Eww!!” Niall protests but Harry holds tight and smiles.

“I love you, Ni.” he whispers.

“Yeah yeah keep these things for your man, alright??? And I love you too, ya silly lovebird!”

 

* * * * * *

 

Zayn opens the door of his bedroom and he knows what he's looking for.

And he actually finds it.

Or him.

Louis is sitting on the leather couch, a joint in his hands, still not lit up.

“You are not going to smoke it.” Zayn says, the room is quiet and Louis is not talking.

He's just turning and re-turning the joint into his small hands, his forehead wrinkled in a frown.

Eyes on the ground.

“I am.” Louis nods, without looking at him.

“Nah. You hate smoking weed when you are like this.” Zayn sits down on the armchair in front of his friend.

“And how am I, then, Zayn Javaad?” Zayn smiles. Louis calls him with his full name only when he wants to be annoying and sarcastic. And he always is when he fights with Harry.

“Louis William,” Zayn says back “You are....a twat.” he completes.

Louis opens his mouth in shock. “What?? Sorry??”

“Yes, you are. What the hell was that thing in the corridor? Throwing objects at Harry?? Again?”

“I wouldn't have hit him. And you know it.”

“Yeah but anyway. Is that how you cope with fights?”

“D'you reckon I should sleep with someone else right after a fight, then?” and there it is, Louis is a fucking twat.

He is nervous and mad and his defense mechanism suggests to hurt everybody else by spitting bad things like that on people who don't deserve it.

Like Zayn.

It happened during the last tour, when Zayn slept with some random girl in Los Angeles as soon as he fought with Perrie for the hundredth time.

Zayn didn't answer, a shadow passes through his dark eyes. Louis freezes and rubs his hand on the back of his neck.

“I am sorry I just.. I am sorry Zayn, I didn't want to..”

“That's fine.” Zayn says, Louis looks at him surprised. “I know you don't do that on purpose. It's just Harry that does this to you.”

“It's not.”

“Louis, admitting you are hurt or mad or that he's right, for example, is not being weak. It's being an adult.” Zayn explains, looking at him in the eyes.

“He's a prick. Remind me why I sleep with him, please??”

“Because you love him.” Zayn nods and Louis sometimes it's very surprised by the way Zayn observes and knows, maybe even better than Louis himself. “Look at you, you can't even smoke a joint when you are upset with him.”

“He said he's out of it. He wants to....leave me.” Louis remembers the words, Harry's mad tone echoing in his ears and his head.

“He really didn't mean that, d'you think Harry Styles would be out of it??? After four years??”

“What if he had enough? Of me and this bullshit and...he's young and he wants to live his life and maybe find someone who can..”

“What the fuck are you talking about??” Zayn cuts him off, frowning, shaking his head quickly. “Louis enough with this crap, mate. Harry wanted to do your laundry and marry you when he wasn't even legal, and you think he'd leave you after a banter???”

Louis looks at his friend from under his fringe that wildly flopped down on his eyes.

He flicks it back with his wrist. “I threw my phone and a pillow at him.”

“So? You threw his clothes out of the window that one time but I didn't see him walking away.”

“He makes me mad.”

“I know. And you makes him mad as well. It's how a relationship works.”

“Sometimes I wanna kick his ass and slap him and...”

“Louis.” Zayn interrupts again “I know. And yet you wanna kiss him and marry him and you'd do all over again if they asked you." 

Louis sighs. Zayn is right. He hates when Zayn is right.

“I hate when you are right.”

“And I hate when you fight so please, can we fix this? Can you fix this?”

“Why does it have to be me?? Like, HE started it!”

“Because you are the older, the wiser and you love him.”

“And he doesn't??? He said he's out and I know Harry, he wouldn't say that if --”

“Shut the fuck up Tommo and go up to your room!” another voice adds suddenly from the front door.

It's Liam.

“Weren't you downstairs?” Zayn asks.

“Niall spoke to Harry and Harry is up in your room having a shower.”

“So? What should I do? I told him to stay away from me and not talk to me.”

“And he was about to kill himself in the gym for that so please...for the sake of the show kiss and make up please.”

Louis sighs and doesn't say anything.

“Don't let your being stubborn to ruin the whole thing please.”

“I am not being stubborn I just... it's his fault and his trying to fix everything even if it's impossible.”

“You know how is Harry. Come on Tommo, don't make me come there and lift you.”

“I'd kick your ass up to your room if I have to.” Zayn nods next to Liam.

Louis narrows his eyes and hisses. “I hate both of you. Especially when you team up against me. I am the older and you should show some respect!”

Louis stands up and leaves the joint on the coffee table. Zayn was right, he didn't smoke it. He couldn't. Not when he's that nervous and he had a fight with the love of his life.

“Go Louis, before we kick you out!” Liam nods towards the door with a tilt of his head.

Louis sighs and walks out.

 

* * * * * *

 

When Louis enters their bedroom, he finds Harry's clothes on the bed, thrown here and there and he knows that something is definitively wrong with him. When he doesn't fold properly his clothes, even if they are dirty, it means Harry is not feeling good.

And Louis can't really blame him. He doesn't feeling good as well.

He feels awful. He feels like he wants to cry. Probably, if Zayn didn't come there to help him, he would have cried a bit.   
He looks around and he's about to go towards the shower when he hears the bathroom door click open.

Harry walks out, a towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair and sad eyes.

The steam of the shower was too much or he has definitively cried in there.

Louis feels even more awful because if there is one thing he hates it's being the cause of any Harry's pain.

He realises in that moment how stupid the whole thing was, how they took out their frustration and tiredness on each other for nothing.

“Hi.” he says, almost muttered.

Harry looks at him for a second, his eyes more gray than green now, and then he bites his bottom lip.

“Hi.” he repeats, with a dark tone.

Louis looks on the floor and he hates himself a bit because even if they are hardly talking to each other, he still finds Harry the most beautiful thing in the world.

Harry drops his towel on the floor and walks by Louis without saying another word.

Louis stays there, next to the bed, looking at him gloriously naked, pretending Louis is invisible.

Harry changes into clean clothes, in silence.

“And here I thought you were getting naked for me.” Louis tries, going for a cautious amused tone.

Harry just looks at him for a second and then focuses again on his clothes.

“I have never liked your cockiness.”  
“It's the first thing you loved about me.” Louis shrugs.

Harry slides on a pair of briefs and his track pants before shaking his wet hair like a dog to try to style them in some way.

Louis loves his movements and his hair flick and his hands. His long hands and fingers he can't wait to feel again on his skin. He's burning without his touch, he's slowly running out of oxygen without feeling Harry close to him.

“Your eyes. That's the first thing I loved about you.” Harry corrects, staying two steps away from Louis, right before him in the middle of the room.

“Well, that and my cockiness.”  
“I am not going to flirt with you right now, it's not working.” Harry says, serious.

“I am not asking to.” Louis shrugs.

Harry cocks an eyebrow. “So what? Did you come here to throw something else at me?”

“I guess I deserve that.” Louis sighs.

Harry stays in silence again.

“I heard you spoke with Niall.” Louis speaks again as Harry doesn't know what to say, apparently.

“Yes, he went to check on me and..he wanted to know what happened.”  
“Stupid things happened.”

“Very stupid.”  
“You are not walking away from me, right?” Louis asks again, worried and scared.

Harry catches his look and frowns. “You know, sometimes you really make me want to go away and...find some peace.”

Louis lowers his head because he already doesn't like where the speech is going and he's ready to have his heart broken. Maybe he deserves it. Maybe Harry is right. Maybe he is too good for him.

“Harry if you --”  
“But then I think that if I'd walk away I'd lose you and that's the last thing I want.” Harry interjects. He's walking slowly towards Louis, closing the distance between the two.

Louis doesn't dare to move. He just follows Harry with his eyes.

“I love you, Louis Tomlinson, from head to toes. I love you and every single part of you and no, I am not fucking walking away unless you want me to.”

Louis closes his eyes and finally the weight on his heart dissolves.

“And I love you too Harry Styles. I love you so much sometimes it's hard for me. Harder than it looks. And... I wish I wasn't like that, fucked up and all and... I didn't want to say those words, I didn't want to talk to you like that, I didn't...”  
“Shut up Tomlinson.” Harry interjects again, with a strong tone that Louis has never heard him before.

Louis does so. Harry is the only one in Louis' life that can give him orders and Louis would respect them. Suddenly Harry is right up in his space, studying his face. He lifts one hand and rests on Louis cheek. The other one, under Louis' jaw.

Louis stays still, looking at him in the eyes, trying to connect again with his soul inside Harry's emerald ones.

Harry is doing the same, staring at his reflection in Louis' pupils.

“I am going to kiss you right now and you are going to stop being worried I am leaving you anytime soon. Or ever.” he says, with his calmest tone.

“You love me even if I throw you things and shouts and say you can go shag someone else as you actually would do it?” Louis asks, without even breathing.

Harry bites his bottom lip and nods.

“I would love you even if you killed me with your own hands.”

As soon as Louis heard his words, he melts.

His eyes water and his vision blur. Harry sense he's about to cry and shakes him lightly.

“No Louis, don't. I hate it.”

“I know but... you....you are so good with me and I always ruin everything with my insecurities and..”

“I make you the person you are. I make you strong.” Harry nods. “And you do the same with me. You are not bad for me, I am not too good for you stop thinking that. Stop. If there is someone who's lucky here, that's me. So shut the fuck up and let me kiss you.”

Louis is about to reply with something when Harry ducks his head down and meets Louis' lip in a passionate kiss.

Louis opens his mouth for Harry and he quickly slides his tongue in, licking into his mouth.

They kiss like that for some time, moaning softly and breathing through their nose.

Then, when they don't have enough air, Harry pulls away, his hands covering half of Louis' face.

“I love you.” Louis says.

“I love you too.” Harry replies.

“Sorry for being...crazy.”

“You are not crazy.”

“Then sorry for throwing things at you and..”

“I should apologise for what I said. I have never thought one second to walk away. I'd never do it.”

“Me neither. How can I ask my soul to walk away from me? And go to someone else?”

Harry doesn't reply. Instead he pulls Louis in a hug.

Louis soak in that warm embrace before pulling away to look at Harry again.

“D'you wanna have the hottest make up sex ever, now, or?”

Harry cocks an eyebrow.

“Louis!!!!!!” he whines.

“What did I say????”

“You ruined the mood, like...it was so intense, we were having a moment and you asked me if I wanna have sex right now???”

Louis looks at him and he can't contain his laugh because Harry's look is too cute and he looks like sixteen again.

“Well you didn't say no.” Louis smirks because he can't not be flirty if everything is back to normal.

“What is making you think I am going to let you fuck me after you throw your phone at me?”

Louis bites his lower lip and grins. “Take off those stupid clothes and I'll show you.”

Harry chuckles.

“You know what? I regret what I am saying. Maybe I should really break up with you after these lame attempts of seduction.”

“Lame???” Louis frowns “That's not lame, that's the best and it always works with you!”

“Nah, they are lame! I deserve more!”

“You are right.” Louis is serious again “You deserve everything and the best.”

Harry looks at Louis in the eyes. “I already have it, thanks.”

He slides his trackpants down and smiles again before attacking Louis' mouth and pushing him backwards to their bed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Some anons readers asked me if I would ever write some drama.   
> There you go, it's the best I can do because I don't like writing about bad things, I want to imagine Harry and Louis always happy and in love as they deserve to be.   
> (And I am sure they are, despite all!)
> 
> So, yeah, sorry for any mistake, thanks for your kudos and comments, I LOVE YOU ALL.
> 
> x


End file.
